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Talk:Faith/@comment-9041013-20181208214926
Uhhh... Well, I was hoping for better D= Sorry mate. Anyways, a few of issues, why do the parents have a dynamic from the early twentieth century? I know deeply religious couples where the woman does not act like a "servant" of her husband and is free to speak whenever she likes. Also being commanding over your child does not have to be so stereotypically harmful for the kid? I grew up with the Russian version of Stalin for a father (Zero hard feelings about that though) and he never told me things like "Don't you be spilling my beans, Boy!" Nor he would tell me to eat from the floor, it's just bad parenting. Ahhh "let's murder the heretics" is a none convincing trope, I mean, yeah xenophobia and hatred of the "heretics" to the point of shaming, bashing and maybe ocassional violence is fine when you talk about extremist, but why do they have to be murders of the serial to mass type? It's been done and it's never really scary, at this point it's somewhat not emotionally grabbing either. I do have a friend who grew up in a Neopaganistic cult environment and yeah they were weird, they were racist and they had some fucked up notions about the Christian majority. However, from what I know, when shit went overboard her parents left the community. Also, there's Zoroastrianism which is extremely stirct when it comes to spiritual clenliness and stuff... Completely bonkers. You also have the Dutch "Reformation" sect of Christianity which believes everyone to be sinful by nature and in need of fixing and is said to be very cult like by a former member. Murder is rare if ever occurs in these parts based on religious ideals alone. As for using a sword, why a sword? it's heavy and clumsy in the hands of someone who doesn't know how to use one. Both father and son should be included in this. Also, Crusader swords were probably not any fancier than the common Knight's sword out of outright piousness from Monastic warriors. It would've been most likely a typical long sword with a cross shaped pommel if even that. At the end we are basically told the father figure is a serial killer, or more probably a mass murderer and somehow no one has ever noticed... which is so off. Anyway, I'd prefer if the violence was less common, and probably included the consumption of drugs to reduce the chance of trauma. The Assassins did it (Hashish was what people in the west thought their name came from, even thought it was "Asasiyyun"), ISIS apparently do it. etc etc. You could, if you ever write another story again like this, use the drug consumption as a way to "get closer to god's wisdom". Perhaps the inclusion of self abuse over the harming of "heretics" would've been better as Christianity is about fixing one-self through Christ rather than the punishment of others. In lieu of Creepypasta's though, self abuse could include one time severe self mutilation of sorts or something like the self crucifixion done by some dude in the Philippines. Also, you've misspelled Grandfather's... double "s"ed it. I know my opinion matters not, but I thought I'd share anyways. On the plus side, however, I did enjoy how you made the father's personality though. He came off like a true fanatic, reciting verses at every oppurtunity and owning a "Crusader sword".